personal story

I Have Decided

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In any given day there are so many choices to make. There are choices that are small, like what to eat for breakfast, and then there are bigger life choices that come up, like changing career paths. When we take too long to decide and waver between choices we are closing the doors on our possibility space. Small choices every day are easy, whereas big changes and choices can bring a lot of fear. Even choices that are exciting can cause us to feel uneasy because it requires us to decide.

The phrase: “I have decided” is so much more powerful that we an imagine and it is so underused on a daily basis. I learned about this phrase a few weeks ago and I feel that every time I say it I am creating more of my reality and I am really stepping into my true self.

Even with small choices saying “I have decided” really puts you in the driver’s seat of your own life. Often if we listen to our intuition we know exactly which path we want to choose, but we let so many factors get in the way of what we truly want and what is good for us and ultimately good for everyone around you. As a small example, think about choosing from a menu at a restaurant. So many times I have noticed that I immediately gravitate to one particular dish that sounds good to me. Then, I’ll still spend time looking at a few other dishes “just in case.” However, I always choose the first one that sounded good to me. I have to say if I choose the first one that I am drawn to, I always enjoy my meal. Has this happened to you?

We can use “I have decided’ with small and big choices to add more power, impact and permanence to our choices. We are really telling life “This is how I would like it.” It is just like putting in our order at the restaurant of the universe. I challenge you to choose one thing to say “I have decided” about today. Then, write it down and tell a friend.

Here’s one of my examples:

“I have decided I will always have fresh flowers on my dining table.”

This is something I have decided because it makes me feel awesome, it makes my home feel bright and cheery, it helps bring the natural world into my home and it feels like I am investing in the life that I love. During the spring and summer there are many flowers that I can bring in from my garden to make arrangements with. I know that during the winter I will need to invest in some flowers each week and that is a great thing because I am supporting a florist and allowing resources to flow from me to others.

This week I have made 2 very big decisions. One is to study a couple of courses in my industry so that I can be even more of a win-win to my clients. This is a big investment in myself but I have decided that this will bring more resources to me and in turn I will use those resources to return to others in my community. This allows resources to continually flow instead of getting stuck. Another choice I have made this week is that I have decided to join a great networking group in my community that I believe will be a great way for me to get to know others in my community and partner with them in creating lots of abundance and lots of ways.

My challenge to you this week is to write down and act on 5 “I have decided” statements. You will begin to see how powerful those words are. You are showing life that you know what is best for you and what will be best for all of those around you if you truly follow your heart.

With lots of love,

Trista

So, What Do I Want?

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There are three words that we say and hear day in and day out that if we redirect them and change them, they can have a great impact on our lives. What are those words? “Don’t, Not and No.” Many times we have no idea the power that words have on shaping our lives and creating our reality. Those words limit our possibilities. They show life what we don’t want, so more of that appears for us. We need to make a major shift in the ways that we communicate to ourselves and others in our daily lives so that we may change our stories and our realities.

This is something that I learned through a podcast I found my Michael Losier who is a Canadian author and teacher. He posted a podcast with about 20 lessons a few years ago that I just happened to find recently. What I love about learning every single day is that you can take what works for you and then leave the rest. This lesson is one that really resonated for me, so I use it every day now.

I wrote on a sticky note “Don’t, Not and No.” and put a line through it. On another sticky note I wrote “So what do I want?” I see these every day when I open up my daily journal to write in. I am planning to also post them elsewhere so I see them every day. Through repetition we can change our habits and our ways of thinking which then changes our results in life. When I catch myself saying one of those three words I can ask myself: “So what do I want?” This helps so much! You can redirect your statements into what you want and not focus on what you don’t want.

Here’s an example: I recently injured both of my big toenails. The nails have become thick and I will go to see a podiatrist to see what is needed to cure these toenails and get them back to normal and healthy again. Instead of googling things about toenails and seeing photos I don’t want to see, I decided to make a Pinterest board of pretty pedicure designs and foot bath ideas for taking care of my feet. What I DO WANT is for my feet to be healthy and pretty again and to be able to go to pedicures often and learn to take very good care of my feet. I have enjoyed looking at the pretty nail designs and that is a great thing to focus on. I also have decided to look at this as an opportunity to learn how to take care of my feet and to keep them that way.

We can also use this technique to communicate what we do want from others when we are asking them to do something. Instead of saying “Don’t play your music so loud,” we can say “Play your music more softly please”, or “Can you use your headphones, please?” This is a more helpful way of stating how we would like things and is clearer as well.

Words matter much more than we think they do. There will be times when we forget this lesson, but the more we practice, the better we will become at asking ourselves what we do want, and redirecting ourselves in that direction.

A fun way to use this is when you notice that there is something that could use improving in your life, focus on it by creating collages with how you would like it to be, or make Pinterest boards for every subject that you are interested in making better in your life. A few minutes of focus a day will help your brain pay more attention to ways in which to make these improvements a reality. Soon, some opportunities will pop up! For example, I have created Pinterest boards for Europe travel that we want to do. Soon, many shows, movies and conversation points have popped up about Europe recently. It’s really so much fun to focus on what we do want in life.

I would love to know how redirecting has helped you! Please comment below or email me at: trista.signe.ainsworth@gmail.com

Joyful Minimalism:

If you are ready to explore your things but need support and would like to work with me one on one, feel free to reach out to me by email and I can send you a client survey and set up a call with you. I can work with local clients and long distance clients.


I have 2 consultations to choose from that help guide us to how I can best help you de-clutter your space. I also have an hourly rate after that for me to de-clutter and organize your space in a detailed manner.

Services:

http://expansive.me/services

Find out more on my website:

http://expansive.me

My Days Off Social Media

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On August 7, 2019 I decided to take 30 days off of social media. I am about halfway through this experiment and I have learned a lot from it and a lot about myself. I will be reporting throughout this experiment as I decide where social media fits or doesn’t fit into my life and into my business as a whole. After September 7th I will have made decisions on this and will keep you posted here on the blog.

I decided to do this 30 day experiment for many reasons, but the main one was to do a kind of “mental de-cluttering” I was feeling overwhelmed every time I was on social media. I felt the need to respond to all of the information and images coming at me, and it left me drained rather than energized. It left me always feeling behind, like I couldn’t catch up with everything there. I found that if I started my day on social media I would feel much more scatterbrained and unable to focus as much as I would like. I felt that I needed to make a major change by challenging myself to 30 days off of Facebook and Instagram.

I also know that I was addicted to checking social media too often. It gave me the illusion that I was connected to others in a real way. However, I notice that I feel much more connected to people that I know by direct messages with them, or best of all, in person meetings. I have remained in touch with my close friends and family in this way and I know in my heart that we are there for each other.

The first few days off social media were a bit disorienting. I felt a little bit lonely not checking in with what others I knew were doing through posts and pictures. However, I love what a dear friend of mine said that Facebook, Instagram, You Tube and all of the rest aren’t “real.” You can’t touch anything there or have a real connection with anyone like you can through direct communication, it’s especially not the same as meeting in person with someone to have coffee or lunch. Those are my most treasured times, when you can really communicate with someone. This quote by a colleague of Susan Dunbar (currently head of the Social and Evolutionary Neuroscience Research Group in the Department of Experimental Psychology at the University of Oxford), Sue Fudge said it best:

"Although social media may seem like the perfect way to make and maintain friendships, this research shows that face-to-face interaction is essential for truly authentic relationships and that shares, selfies and 'likes' are no replacement for the bonding that takes place whilst sharing food, experiences and anecdotes.” —Sue Fudge

This is why I have ultimately felt much better off of social media and I am looking forward to the times that I meet my friends in person. We will have much more to chat about and really catch up on each other’s lives because I haven’t followed them on social media for such a long while. It’s kind of an experiment in making social time more special, more of a celebration rather than something that you just scroll through endlessly.

I have communicated through some direct messages and some emails with friends and I have found it refreshing to only communicate with one person at a time (unless there is a thread about a get-together or party). It really makes you focus on what matters rather than how many people commented on or liked something you posted out to a very large group on social media.

I actually have found myself taking fewer pictures, but fun pictures to remember events nonetheless because I know I will share some of them with friends in person, or make a photo album of them to remember fun times by.

The other benefit of being off social media is the freedom to explore other things in life. I have learned to make more delicious foods from recipes in actual books, I have daydreamed about and started to plan some trips and I actually bought paper maps to plot points to visit on our travels. I have spent much more time outside, and fun times with my son this summer. I also have learned how to make cappuccinos with our little espresso machine! Of course I have also really enjoyed de-cluttering different areas of our home even more.

So much fun and magic has come my way in these days! My plan right now is to just blog about my experiences here on my website which I can post to social media and to medium.com for a larger audience. That way I don’t need to be on social media to reach people and help them. This feels right to me so far and it is like I have started a new life over again. It is thrilling and I invite you to try it for yourself!

With lots of love,

Trista

Trust

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Trust. We must trust in life daily even when our trust is challenged.

Have you ever had times where things seemed to really be sailing along in your favor and you felt on top of the world; then out of the blue some things cross your path and seem to create obstacles to the life you are seeking?

This of course has happened to me. I am learning that the most important things is to build up your trust in life. The phrase that is important to remember when a challenge or an obstacle comes up is:

Life is always working out for me

This is a phrase that I need to remind myself of from time to time. Life can cause you to make detours into the realm of fear, just as in the sign pictured above. We can allow ourselves to sink into despair when things aren't working as we expected them to. Or, we can learn to trust that life is always working out for us. There are many mysteries that we do not understand. That is why: cancellations, deals that don’t work out, clients not following up and so many other things are actually things working out for us IN DISGUISE.

We can use obstacles as a gift or we can choose to be negative about them. The choice is ours. Of course it is very normal and natural to be unhappy about them for a short time. We can allow ourselves to have feelings of anger, upset or annoyance for a short period of time. Then, we can let go of it and realize that life is always working out for us.

Many times I have had cancellations or meetings not working out due to one circumstance or another, but then even better things come along later that fit better into the lifestyle that I am seeking. Sometimes opportunities that seem great don’t work out because they truly aren’t for us. Believe it or not, life is really looking out for us and making sure we stay on the path we are truly meant to walk on to be our best selves, to create win-win situations for ourselves and others.

What ways can you see that life really was looking out for you in the end?

I would love to hear your stories in the comments below!

Joyful Minimalism: 

If you are ready to explore your things but need  support and would like to work with me one on one, feel free to reach out to me by email and I can send you a client survey and set up a call with you. I can work with local clients and long distance clients. 

I have 3 home clearing packages to choose from: 

Services:

http://expansive.me/services

Find out more on my website:

http://expansive.me