personal journey

What space are you creating?

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This spring we are nearing the end of a project to clear some large items and a few boxes and bags of small items in our garage in anticipation of buying an electric car in the coming months. This photo above is my dream car- a red Tesla!

I have a super fun game that I play every day to see how many Teslas I can spot on the road. It’s super fun! Many times I see this red one too! My favorite!

It’s often great to have a goal in mind for the space you are creating while de-cluttering your home. Having those pictures of dreams in your mind can really encourage you and spur you on going forward.

Here are some questions to ask yourself about your spaces:

  1. How do I want to feel in this space? What does peace in this space look like and feel like to me?

  2. What do I picture myself doing in this space?

  3. What new possibilities am I opening up in my life by clearing out the clutter in this space?

  4. What surprises am I allowing for by creating some space? Empty spaces as well as empty drawers and shelves can create great energy for many things to show up in your life! You will be surprised!

Now that our garage space is nearly cleared the energy feels light and every day I see more and more Teslas! They are like a trail of beautiful dream “breadcrumbs” on the way to my intentions coming true. I can just see the car in that space. Create more space for more possibilities in your home and in your life.

When you clear a space for yourself and your dreams in your home and on your calendar you are creating freedom and peace for yourself. You will be shocked at the amazing outcomes!

What spaces are you making for yourself? Feel free to comment below! Make sure to leave space in your home and on your calendar for your dreams to grow!

Joyful Minimalism: 

If you are ready to explore your things but need  support and would like to work with me one on one, feel free to reach out to me by email and I can send you a client survey and set up a call with you. I can work with local clients and long distance clients. 

I have 3 home clearing packages to choose from: 

Services:

http://expansive.me/services

Find out more on my website:

http://expansive.me

Don't judge me!

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Above: a photo of our garage project in progress. We still have some large items to give away, etc. :)

Recently I was at a client’s home and was helping her with ways to re-organize and downsize a bedroom closet and desk area. I helped her come up with lots of ways to make the space the most user friendly and we had a great time chatting about what to do next.

After going through that room, she wasn’t sure if she wanted to show me a second “catch-all” room as she called it. It is an extra room in her home. She allowed me to take a look and give her ideas on how to best go through the items in that room and clear them. I had no judgement about the room, I feel honored that she allowed me to see it in its current state and to help her with ideas on it. I let her know that she could go through items that she had dominion over first, and then work with her family members on the remaining items.

I find that often the biggest hurdle for clients is the judgement they feel they will get from me if they let me see their spaces that they are ashamed of. There is no shame, no judgement, only progress to be made. I think it is important to realize that we are all human and that we all are going through our things in a different way.

I shared with this client that I am still struggling with our garage a bit because there are still a few large items to decide upon, figure out who to give them to and also some final items to sort through. My husband and I have the goal of getting both cars into the garage, especially because by the end of the year we would like to get a new car to replace a very old commuter car that we have. It is all a process and especially when you need to decide together, projects like this can take time and we must withhold judgement and be patient not only with ourselves but with our family members.

Above you can see photos of the garage. It has come a long way, but there are still areas to work on together as a family to make our goal of storing both of our cars in the garage. We are getting closer & closer so we need to be gentle with ourselves, not judge others and keep moving forward with the last of our de-cluttering effort.

I encourage you to be gentle with yourself, where you are in the process and how you work with others de-cluttering in your home.

Do you have house shame or shame about certain areas or rooms in your home? Feel free to comment below or email me at:

trista.signe.ainsworth@gmail.com

With love, patience, kindness and non-judgement—

—Trista

Are we losing real connection with social media?

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Just yesterday I was talking with my friend at breakfast about how we used to write letters to our friends and family as late as in the 1990’s. We reminisced about the letters that we still have tucked away from friends that we kept in touch with. We remarked on how amazed we were that we took so much time to write many pages about how our lives were going and waited for our friends to respond.

Old Letters:

I recently de-cluttered my old letters and memory items and I kept one whole binder full of them. I was amazed at how detailed the letters were and how heartfelt they were. I found that the friends that I used to connect with through letters (long distance friends) were all now on social media (myself included) and how I felt that I lost a real personal connection to them. I can see through their photos and comments more or less how their lives are going, but these stories don’t encompass how they themselves are going through life and what their dreams, hopes and disappointments are. I miss that real connection to them. When we used to write letters to each other we only focused on one person at a time, writing to them and sharing our lives and also feeling so honored that they personally shared theirs with us by writing to us. Even with message apps like Facebook messenger and Whatsapp I feel that the personal connection is a little lost in the immediacy of the messages.

Real Human Connection:

Even though I am still on social media I have really started to prefer making time to meet people in person for coffee, tea, breakfast or lunch. We have a real human connection over a drink or a meal and we can really be in the present moment with each other and give each other attention. This is real human connection and there is nothing else like it. When you see someone eye to eye, there is a real bond and real caring there.

Connections to long distance friends:

I have been musing about how to connect more to long distance friends away from social media or messaging apps as well. I have many local friends that I try to see once a month or every couple of months. However, I do have some dear friends who are long distance that I want to maintain a deeper connection with. I think in the coming weeks I am going to suggest to them that we write each other letters, emails or set up a Zoom or Skype call maybe once a month to really be able to be in the present moment and connect with each other. I miss really knowing how they are in their lives. I miss knowing all of the nuances and the details that we told each other over letters.

On social media we can get some of the story of someone’s life- the highlight reel as it were. It is a wonderful thing in some respects because we can see places they have been, photos of major events and musings about daily life. However, I think that we really miss the personal details and some of the struggles that our friends used to share with us in a more intimate way. I feel that I am growing further apart from the people that I only see on social media and not through any other medium. I feel that I have to sift through the clutter of so many posts and also advertisements to really see a glimpse of what is going on in their lives. It begins to feel impersonal.

I am beginning to evaluate my relationship with social media as well. I don’t post as many personal things as I used to. I might post something about myself or my family maybe once a month or every couple of weeks because it just doesn’t feel very personal to me. That being said, I have made some very lasting connections in Facebook groups and we have kept the conversation going with other mediums such as Skype.

This week after this conversation with my friend, more than ever I am seeking to see people in person more often, to make real connections and to find ways to communicate more personally with some dear friends who are long distance.

I would love to know your thoughts on social media. Do you feel a real connection there? Do you meet people in person very much these days?

Feel free to comment below on your experiences or email me at:

trista.signe.ainsworth@gmail.com

—Trista

Letting go of clutter = Letting go of pain

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Recently, Oprah (on her show and podcast Super Soul Sunday) has started a special series on the book “A New Earth” by Eckhart Tolle. Each Monday they talk together about a different chapter and readers of the book call in with their questions. I read this book many years ago, but this program reignited my interest in it. I picked up a copy of the book and to my surprise the chapter on the “pain body” really had a lot of meaning to me. I began to wonder if letting go of clutter and extra things in your environment could lead to letting go of pain. In my experience it certainly has.

According to Tolle “This energy field of old but still very-much-alive emotion that lives in almost every human being is the pain-body.”

I also believe that a negative energy force can live in the clutter we keep in our homes. Even if it is an every day item that we keep that belonged to someone else, if there was pain around this person in our lives or if it was painful to let them go because they have passed away, that item can carry pain with it instead of joy. You will know when you look at or hold those items.

In the chapter called “Breaking Free” Tolle states:

It is your conscious Presence that breaks the identification with the pain-body. When you don’t identify with it, the pain body can no longer control your thinking and so cannot renew itself any more by feeding on your thoughts. The pain-body in most cases does not dissolve immediately, but once you have severed the link between it and your thinking, the pain body begins to lose energy. Your thinking ceases to be clouded by emotion; your present perceptions are no longer distorted by the past.

—Eckhart Tolle “A New Earth”

When we are clearing our homes we are focusing very much on the present moment with our things as we decide what to keep in our homes and what to let go of. In this sense, the amount of pain and stress dissipates with each clearing session. You are clearing away more than just physical items. You are clearing away the painful attachments you held on to for so long that are no longer serving you in this present moment.

It’s like with each box and bag that leaves your home, a part of you feels a little lighter, there is less stress from the past weighing on you. You are freeing yourself from the pain that those things represent and lightening the load on your body and your mind.

When we no longer identify with, or put a label on certain things such as “I should keep this because _____________ gave it to me.” or “This belonged to _____________.” If you have a warm, loving feeling around that item, by all means keep it in your home because it radiates love. However, if the item is kept because of guilt, shame or an attachment to someone negative in your life or a difficult time in your life, let it go. It is part of the pain that is not serving you in your present moment.

Have you found that when you let go of things you feel less stress or you feel lighter? It means that you are starting to let go of the pain in your life.

Comment below on this question, or feel free to email me at:

trista.signe.ainsworth@gmail.com

Joyful Minimalism: 

If you are ready to explore your things but need weekly/daily support and would like to work with me one on one, feel free to reach out to me by email and I can send you a client survey and set up a call with you. I can work with local clients and long distance clients. 
trista.signe.ainsworth@gmail.com