So, What Do I Want?

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There are three words that we say and hear day in and day out that if we redirect them and change them, they can have a great impact on our lives. What are those words? “Don’t, Not and No.” Many times we have no idea the power that words have on shaping our lives and creating our reality. Those words limit our possibilities. They show life what we don’t want, so more of that appears for us. We need to make a major shift in the ways that we communicate to ourselves and others in our daily lives so that we may change our stories and our realities.

This is something that I learned through a podcast I found my Michael Losier who is a Canadian author and teacher. He posted a podcast with about 20 lessons a few years ago that I just happened to find recently. What I love about learning every single day is that you can take what works for you and then leave the rest. This lesson is one that really resonated for me, so I use it every day now.

I wrote on a sticky note “Don’t, Not and No.” and put a line through it. On another sticky note I wrote “So what do I want?” I see these every day when I open up my daily journal to write in. I am planning to also post them elsewhere so I see them every day. Through repetition we can change our habits and our ways of thinking which then changes our results in life. When I catch myself saying one of those three words I can ask myself: “So what do I want?” This helps so much! You can redirect your statements into what you want and not focus on what you don’t want.

Here’s an example: I recently injured both of my big toenails. The nails have become thick and I will go to see a podiatrist to see what is needed to cure these toenails and get them back to normal and healthy again. Instead of googling things about toenails and seeing photos I don’t want to see, I decided to make a Pinterest board of pretty pedicure designs and foot bath ideas for taking care of my feet. What I DO WANT is for my feet to be healthy and pretty again and to be able to go to pedicures often and learn to take very good care of my feet. I have enjoyed looking at the pretty nail designs and that is a great thing to focus on. I also have decided to look at this as an opportunity to learn how to take care of my feet and to keep them that way.

We can also use this technique to communicate what we do want from others when we are asking them to do something. Instead of saying “Don’t play your music so loud,” we can say “Play your music more softly please”, or “Can you use your headphones, please?” This is a more helpful way of stating how we would like things and is clearer as well.

Words matter much more than we think they do. There will be times when we forget this lesson, but the more we practice, the better we will become at asking ourselves what we do want, and redirecting ourselves in that direction.

A fun way to use this is when you notice that there is something that could use improving in your life, focus on it by creating collages with how you would like it to be, or make Pinterest boards for every subject that you are interested in making better in your life. A few minutes of focus a day will help your brain pay more attention to ways in which to make these improvements a reality. Soon, some opportunities will pop up! For example, I have created Pinterest boards for Europe travel that we want to do. Soon, many shows, movies and conversation points have popped up about Europe recently. It’s really so much fun to focus on what we do want in life.

I would love to know how redirecting has helped you! Please comment below or email me at: trista.signe.ainsworth@gmail.com

Joyful Minimalism:

If you are ready to explore your things but need support and would like to work with me one on one, feel free to reach out to me by email and I can send you a client survey and set up a call with you. I can work with local clients and long distance clients.


I have 2 consultations to choose from that help guide us to how I can best help you de-clutter your space. I also have an hourly rate after that for me to de-clutter and organize your space in a detailed manner.

Services:

http://expansive.me/services

Find out more on my website:

http://expansive.me

My Real Life Off Social Media

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It has now been more than 30 days since I have been on social media other than posting a medium.com article from the medium.com site. I have not scrolled through Facebook or Instagram in more than 30 days now and I can say that I don’t plan to in the foreseeable future. I set off on this experiment to un-clutter my mind and to gain back so much time in my days. I thought that I would take 30 days off, and then go back to a different schedule with social media. The main reason I went off social media is that for the first time in my life I could see that I was really getting addicted to something. I found myself checking my phone way too often and even times when I was off my phone I was wondering what was going on Facebook or Instagram. I often took so many photos only to think about posting them. This is not to say that sharing about our lives is a bad thing, but when it overtakes your days and your time, that is the time that the addiction has taken over our lives.

I feel that I have gained so very much from being off social media:

  • Connecting personally one on one with friends and family. Whether it is through a text, message, email or phone call, it is very special now to actually just communicate one on one with a friend. I find it’s much more personal to share photos or happenings in this way.

  • Connecting more with people in person. I have always loved to get together with friends every 1-2 months in person for coffee, tea, lunch, brunch, dinner or any fun activity. It’s really an important way to connect with others and keep our friendships alive and support each other. This month I have 3 events with friends on the calendar. I’m so thrilled about this!

  • Having more time to work on projects at home. The other day I took a day off and: rearranged my son’s furniture in his room so it works better, repainted a bathroom vanity, spent time making myself a latte at home and read an interesting book.

  • Having more space in my mind to truly think about the important things in life, what I want to do for myself, my family and the world.

  • Feeling free to be myself and create the life I want to create for myself and my family.

  • Taking time to daydream and plan amazing things like travel.

  • Taking time to make recipes I have been hanging on to in books and notebooks for such a long time.

  • Actually making many of the recipes I found on Pinterest.

I feel that the benefits are so very many! So far my friends have really understood and reached out to me outside of social media and I really appreciate them for that.

I found it interesting what was said in this New Yorker article about social media. It points out that even though through social media you can remain in contact with lots more people, you are spread more thinly trying to keep up with all of them and your ties are weaker:

With social media, we can easily keep up with the lives and interests of far more than a hundred and fifty people. But without investing the face-to-face time, we lack deeper connections to them, and the time we invest in superficial relationships comes at the expense of more profound ones. We may widen our network to two, three, or four hundred people that we see as friends, not just acquaintances, but keeping up an actual friendship requires resources. “The amount of social capital you have is pretty fixed,” Dunbar said. “It involves time investment. If you garner connections with more people, you end up distributing your fixed amount of social capital more thinly so the average capital per person is lower.”

from “The Limits of Friendship” The New Yorker- by Maria Konnikova

For me personally I would rather strengthen friendships that I already have outside of social media and do more in-person networking. I have found that the type of work that I do requires a strong connection to someone, or a strong referral from someone who really knows the work that I do. I am strengthening these by getting to know people in person and really learning about them in real life. I feel that for me personally this is the life that I want to lead. I know that others really enjoy and can handle social media and it helps them remain in touch with people. I think that everyone has a different threshold, and for me I function better with one to one communication. For others, I think there is a place for social media.

What are your thoughts on this? Have you tried a few days off social media? How have you felt? I have decided to now share my thoughts through this blog only and I will share it on social media for those that find it easier to find me there.

Thank you so much for joining me here in this space.

With lots of love,

Trista

Joyful Minimalism:

If you are ready to explore your things but need support and would like to work with me one on one, feel free to reach out to me by email and I can send you a client survey and set up a call with you. I can work with local clients and long distance clients.


I have 2 consultations to choose from that help guide us to how I can best help you de-clutter your space. I also have an hourly rate after that for me to de-clutter and organize your space in a detailed manner.


Services:


http://expansive.me/services

Find out more on my website:


http://expansive.me

Soak It In

Beautiful Big Lake Oregon where we went camping last weekend.

Beautiful Big Lake Oregon where we went camping last weekend.

Last weekend we went on an amazing camping trip with another family. I grew up going camping almost every year and we would go to a lake for a few days and enjoy the beautiful surroundings. I find that every year I have a need for going camping, at last for 1-2 nights in an area that has a lake or a stream so that I can really refresh my mind and get clear on things.

My dear husband really doesn’t care for camping, his ideal day is one mostly spent at home reading, watching shows or movies, going out to eat and things like that. He enjoys his quiet time and alone time very much. So, for that reason my son and I went camping with another family while my husband had the freedom to stay home and enjoy his time as well. Whenever we are in a nature area lately he’s told me to “soak it in.” He loves to joke about it, thinking that just walking a nature trail will be all it takes to fill my need for nature. I love it!

For me there is something amazing about being out in nature truly away from town and from all conveniences even for 1-2 short days that does something amazing to restore your mind and your spirit. It clears away all of the mental clutter, and is really like a fresh start to a new season for the year I find.

Something truly remarkable happened on this trip. My son really, really loves to be in the water and loves to swim. He has learned to swim over the years by going to the public pool in the summers and practicing swimming every chance he got when we were on vacation at the hotel pools. Since our campsites were right on the lake, he was able to get in the water often. Right when we got to the site, he got right into the water in the clothes he was wearing and began to swim. Whenever he got tired, it would float on this back. He is so amazing at floating! He really wanted to cross to the other shore and since he had that goal in mind, he kept at it until he made it. I could do nothing except for trust him. I had to put my faith in him and trust that he knew how to make it to the other side on his own, and of course he did it!

This trusting moment was such an important lesson of letting go and knowing that things always work out. He knew in his mind and through his swimming practice that he could make it, he had no doubt! He really taught me a lesson in trusting myself as well and knowing that whatever I intend and set my mind and hear to, will come to me. I soaked in that moment and was so very proud of him for accomplishing what he intended to do, and I was also proud of myself for trusting in him.

When we have the mindset that he had, that everything always works out, fear melts away. We trust life to show us the way and light our path. We trust our instincts and everything that’s around us. This truly is the way to live. I did soak in that moment and many more in those two amazing days.

My son asked me why I stood so long at the edge of the campsite just looking at the lake, looking at a chipmunk on a piece of driftwood, watching the fog drift over the lake. I told him I was soaking it all in, really being in that moment and soaking in the tranquil effects of nature on me.

What moments do you soak in? What places do you love to go? How can you trust and let go that it will all work out? I would love to hear from you about these moments in your life.

Joyful Minimalism:

If you are ready to explore your things but need support and would like to work with me one on one, feel free to reach out to me by email and I can send you a client survey and set up a call with you. I can work with local clients and long distance clients.


I have 2 consultations to choose from that help guide us to how I can best help you de-clutter your space. I also have an hourly rate after that for me to de-clutter and organize your space in a detailed manner.


Services:


http://expansive.me/services

Find out more on my website:


http://expansive.me

This Meditation May Change Your Life

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This meditation my change your life.

Bhuddist Priest at the Ryutakuzenji Temple, Takasaki, Japan.

It was a quiet morning in late June at our traditional Japanese hotel, or Ryokan. We had adjusted to the schedule and were getting up really early in the morning due to the time shift. The night before we told our host (also a Bhuddist priest) that we would be at the 6am meditation in the morning at the temple just up the garden steps from the guest house where we were staying.

We sat on comfortable cushions in the beautiful wooden temple where our host is of the 35th generation of priests here. He sounded a gong to indicate the beginning of the meditation. It was a few quiet minutes of stillness, but he was right that it did change our lives. It brought about changes to our thinking and the way that we want to live our lives and even how our home is set up. Amazing what a few minutes of silence will do!

I believe that new and different experiences brought about by travel can really have a profound effect on the way that we live our lives. As a result we have made the following changes:

-My husband wakes up earlier and gets in to work earlier so that he can leave earlier and we can all spend more of the evening time together.

-I wake up earlier most mornings and like to start my day by sweeping and mopping the floor to clear the energy of our home for a new day. I have started to clean and organize our home in a zen way, de-cluttering even more to make our spaces more expansive.

-I have renewed my meditation practice and have placed a Buddha statue that we already had in our living room. We even change out pieces of fruit or other food items that we give to the Bhudda daily.

One of the biggest changes that we are in the process of making is the one of creating a meditation room in our home. We have a room which is now an office. In order to create a meditation space with Japanese tatami mats in it we are going to give away our desk, move out other furniture, store all office items in the small closet (I de-cluttered the office and gave away 2 boxes of things) and paint the room. Then, we will install the tatami mats, put minimal Japanese art on the wall, have 1 low table which we can place a laptop on for writing and some cushions as well as store traditional Japanese bedding on the other shelves in the closet. It will be a wonderfully tranquil, minimal room which we are very excited by! It has also spurred on more re-decorating in other spaces as well.

What major changes in your life have been spurred on by travel?

I’d love to hear from you, email me at: trista.signe.ainsworth@gmail.com

Joyful Minimalism:

If you are ready to explore your things but need support and would like to work with me one on one, feel free to reach out to me by email and I can send you a client survey and set up a call with you. I can work with local clients and long distance clients.


I have 2 consultations to choose from that help guide us to how I can best help you de-clutter your space. I also have an hourly rate after that for me to de-clutter and organize your space in a detailed manner.


Services:


http://expansive.me/services

Find out more on my website:


http://expansive.me