So, What Do I Want?


There are three words that we say and hear day in and day out that if we redirect them and change them, they can have a great impact on our lives. What are those words? “Don’t, Not and No.” Many times we have no idea the power that words have on shaping our lives and creating our reality. Those words limit our possibilities. They show life what we don’t want, so more of that appears for us. We need to make a major shift in the ways that we communicate to ourselves and others in our daily lives so that we may change our stories and our realities.

This is something that I learned through a podcast I found my Michael Losier who is a Canadian author and teacher. He posted a podcast with about 20 lessons a few years ago that I just happened to find recently. What I love about learning every single day is that you can take what works for you and then leave the rest. This lesson is one that really resonated for me, so I use it every day now.

I wrote on a sticky note “Don’t, Not and No.” and put a line through it. On another sticky note I wrote “So what do I want?” I see these every day when I open up my daily journal to write in. I am planning to also post them elsewhere so I see them every day. Through repetition we can change our habits and our ways of thinking which then changes our results in life. When I catch myself saying one of those three words I can ask myself: “So what do I want?” This helps so much! You can redirect your statements into what you want and not focus on what you don’t want.

Here’s an example: I recently injured both of my big toenails. The nails have become thick and I will go to see a podiatrist to see what is needed to cure these toenails and get them back to normal and healthy again. Instead of googling things about toenails and seeing photos I don’t want to see, I decided to make a Pinterest board of pretty pedicure designs and foot bath ideas for taking care of my feet. What I DO WANT is for my feet to be healthy and pretty again and to be able to go to pedicures often and learn to take very good care of my feet. I have enjoyed looking at the pretty nail designs and that is a great thing to focus on. I also have decided to look at this as an opportunity to learn how to take care of my feet and to keep them that way.

We can also use this technique to communicate what we do want from others when we are asking them to do something. Instead of saying “Don’t play your music so loud,” we can say “Play your music more softly please”, or “Can you use your headphones, please?” This is a more helpful way of stating how we would like things and is clearer as well.

Words matter much more than we think they do. There will be times when we forget this lesson, but the more we practice, the better we will become at asking ourselves what we do want, and redirecting ourselves in that direction.

A fun way to use this is when you notice that there is something that could use improving in your life, focus on it by creating collages with how you would like it to be, or make Pinterest boards for every subject that you are interested in making better in your life. A few minutes of focus a day will help your brain pay more attention to ways in which to make these improvements a reality. Soon, some opportunities will pop up! For example, I have created Pinterest boards for Europe travel that we want to do. Soon, many shows, movies and conversation points have popped up about Europe recently. It’s really so much fun to focus on what we do want in life.

I would love to know how redirecting has helped you! Please comment below or email me at:

Joyful Minimalism:

If you are ready to explore your things but need support and would like to work with me one on one, feel free to reach out to me by email and I can send you a client survey and set up a call with you. I can work with local clients and long distance clients.

I have 2 consultations to choose from that help guide us to how I can best help you de-clutter your space. I also have an hourly rate after that for me to de-clutter and organize your space in a detailed manner.


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Trista Ainsworth

I am a professional organizer and decluttering expert. I help clients create more peace, joy and freedom in the spaces in their homes and businesses.